He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
