i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
