I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My legs feel like baby dolphins
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
