i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
