worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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