a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
