Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize