fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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