It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
