i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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