yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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