i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
