I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
