Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Randomize
