forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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