omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize