ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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