we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
