In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
