OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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