Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Randomize
