i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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