Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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