i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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