well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She tied me up with her honor cords...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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