oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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