Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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