Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Randomize
