but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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