I wish life had little blips of pornography
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
