when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
