erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
