I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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