Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
