Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize