we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
