Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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