My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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