I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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