Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize