then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
