We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize