so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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