then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
