Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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