I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize