If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
