jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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