Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
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I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
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Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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