i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
