I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She's the barista slut.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
