At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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