No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize