dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
