Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
