you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
