I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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