Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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