I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
