I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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