Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
