I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
