he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
