I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize