I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
