How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
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I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
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Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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